7.POST BREAKUP.....I WAS BACK

I cried alone but I had my friends to lend me their shoulders.I always said that I needed no-one but everyone was around me, and somewhere I was happy being released from the dark past.Those daily fights that ended with depression,those loud shouts on me,all had stopped.
I missed all the special moments with him.I had stopped myself from being socially active also.
Ashu,my best friend who always knew what I needed,asked me to spend time on facebook.
I went online and sat upto 1a.m in the night.I had some friends who chatted with me regularly and they always had one question to ask about-My Breakup story.

I was disgusted.And there was Daksh who was the only one who asked me to take my past as a joke and forget that.It was impossible for me. It was a part of my life and it had taught me a great deal of things.

I hated chatting with Daksh and  so avoided him.But he did come to induce me to forget my past as if it was his business.He used to sit and give me morals till late nights even during his exams.He asked for my phone number but I had lost the capability to trust anyone,so I never accepted his request.

Chatting with him became a continuous routine for me.Even when I used to go home during holidays,we used to keep chatting till dinner.We had become good friends.But I never heard his voice.He used to end the conversation with asking me my number and I would end it by saying a no.

It was my last day of summer holidays.I was already feeling homesick.I was getting ready to sleep. Daksh's messages were still beeping  on my phone.There was something weird.

'I wanted to say u something.'

'What?'

'U knw wat,I used to like you during college days.'

'Oh,dats k. we r friends now.'

'Ryt.U r my closest friend now.'

He asked me to be his closest friend.Though I had a sense to stay away from him but I had agreed to be his closest friend.

I was surprised by what he was saying.
I asked,'But y did u like me?'.

'U were talented,beautiful and were great.Dat's y I loved you.'

'What?'

'Sry,I liked you.'

'K gud nyt.Need to sleep now.'

'Ur number plz.Don't deny yaar.'

'Ok.9734567898.Call me tomorrow ONLY ok'

'Oh sure.Thnq.Sweet dreams.Bye'

I still couldn't believe myself.I did give him my number.But why?
Daksh was weird but he always tried to make me out of my sadness,without any reason.He was a no-one to me but somewhere it felt like I meant everything to him.

I was happy. Daksh had become a special friend with whom I could share all my feelings.

At the end of the day,I was wearing a smile .....
.......that was gifted to me
........by Daksh!!

                     6.THOSE DAYS OF TEARS...

Things never changed.

I struggled to make him happy by all means but he never was. I bought him gifts,talked to him all the time though he never did anything except crying and scolding me.

I cursed myself as because I loved him a lot but could never make him realize that.

The thing that hurted me a lot was that he always thought that I was interested in some other guy and ignored him. I was not happy.I cried all the time.My friends asked me to breakup with him but I never wanted to lose him.

It was the fest time in my college.All were so excited.I was as usual dull and unenergetic.

One of my friends had registered my name in the singing competition.I was not interested to participate but I did that for the sake of my friends.

I was doing my riyaaz just the night before the audition.Saras called.I didn't know why but I feared to talk to him even. I picked up the call and he talked to me so sweetly that I started crying.

Everything went on well and the next day I got selected in the auditions.

My auditions were to finish at 4p.m but due to some problems it ended at 5:30 p.m.I came out of the audi and called Saras at first.He picked up the call and I was shattered again.

 

"Just say me what were you doing since 4p.m.See Ipsha don't even dare to lie me.You cheat, you are such a cheap girl that you don't even care for the one who cares for you.Why do you call me now? Just go and enjoy.You have lot many so-called-friends to spend time with,right?

Goodbye."

 

I decided not to fear this time and fight for myself.

 

"Saras what do you think of yourself?I  just came out of the audi and called you first to inform you that I was selected.I didn't even call my parents.I am crying now.I was so happy.And I jst have two friends here and those too in girls.I don't even talk to boys you know that.You still doubt on me.What do I do now.I am disgusted.I cry all the time and you don't even understand a bit.Do you want me to die?"

 

I cut the phone.I went back to my room.lied on my bed and cried a lot.Then I went up to my table,brought a blade and was about to do something with that when my room-mates knocked the door.

 

He called me at night.I didn't even prepare for my finals.

He scolded me again and said that he wanted a breakup.I pleaded to him not to leave me but he didn't listen me.After a long try he agreed to take a second chance.But something deep inside was telling me that it won't work.

 

It was my birthday the next day.I knew my friends were planning for a surprise for me and I was happy.Saras wasn't talking to me nor even I.

He called me at 11p.m in the night and directly said he didn't want the relation to exist.I felt like being thrown away somewhere.I was so shattered that I coudn't even scold him back.he cut the phone.

I was going to turn 19 at 12a.m. and it would have been my first birthday with him.I still expected him to call me or atleast text me, but all my expectations went in vain.I got thousands of wishes but not from Saras.I tried to be happy but sadly I had no substitute for my tears.

 

Some days later I got a message in my facebook inbox.He sent me a long message and at the end it was written,"I hate u now". He,then,blocked me.

 

I was broken down completely.I hated the word love.I hated the moments I spent with him.I hated the moment he came into my life.I hated myself.I feared making friends and remain aloof from everything.

 

I had lost Ipsha which was within myself.