6.THOSE DAYS OF TEARS...

Things never changed.

I struggled to make him happy by all means but he never was. I bought him gifts,talked to him all the time though he never did anything except crying and scolding me.

I cursed myself as because I loved him a lot but could never make him realize that.

The thing that hurted me a lot was that he always thought that I was interested in some other guy and ignored him. I was not happy.I cried all the time.My friends asked me to breakup with him but I never wanted to lose him.

It was the fest time in my college.All were so excited.I was as usual dull and unenergetic.

One of my friends had registered my name in the singing competition.I was not interested to participate but I did that for the sake of my friends.

I was doing my riyaaz just the night before the audition.Saras called.I didn't know why but I feared to talk to him even. I picked up the call and he talked to me so sweetly that I started crying.

Everything went on well and the next day I got selected in the auditions.

My auditions were to finish at 4p.m but due to some problems it ended at 5:30 p.m.I came out of the audi and called Saras at first.He picked up the call and I was shattered again.

 

"Just say me what were you doing since 4p.m.See Ipsha don't even dare to lie me.You cheat, you are such a cheap girl that you don't even care for the one who cares for you.Why do you call me now? Just go and enjoy.You have lot many so-called-friends to spend time with,right?

Goodbye."

 

I decided not to fear this time and fight for myself.

 

"Saras what do you think of yourself?I  just came out of the audi and called you first to inform you that I was selected.I didn't even call my parents.I am crying now.I was so happy.And I jst have two friends here and those too in girls.I don't even talk to boys you know that.You still doubt on me.What do I do now.I am disgusted.I cry all the time and you don't even understand a bit.Do you want me to die?"

 

I cut the phone.I went back to my room.lied on my bed and cried a lot.Then I went up to my table,brought a blade and was about to do something with that when my room-mates knocked the door.

 

He called me at night.I didn't even prepare for my finals.

He scolded me again and said that he wanted a breakup.I pleaded to him not to leave me but he didn't listen me.After a long try he agreed to take a second chance.But something deep inside was telling me that it won't work.

 

It was my birthday the next day.I knew my friends were planning for a surprise for me and I was happy.Saras wasn't talking to me nor even I.

He called me at 11p.m in the night and directly said he didn't want the relation to exist.I felt like being thrown away somewhere.I was so shattered that I coudn't even scold him back.he cut the phone.

I was going to turn 19 at 12a.m. and it would have been my first birthday with him.I still expected him to call me or atleast text me, but all my expectations went in vain.I got thousands of wishes but not from Saras.I tried to be happy but sadly I had no substitute for my tears.

 

Some days later I got a message in my facebook inbox.He sent me a long message and at the end it was written,"I hate u now". He,then,blocked me.

 

I was broken down completely.I hated the word love.I hated the moments I spent with him.I hated the moment he came into my life.I hated myself.I feared making friends and remain aloof from everything.

 

I had lost Ipsha which was within myself.