10.THAT FIRST COMMITMENT

"Do you really need to break my sleep every morning just because you go to your stupid gym so early?"

"Yes I do and you must exercise too.See exercise is good for health and your nerves...."

"Daksh..please...I am tired...Nothing is gonna save from dying ok.Ha Ha Ha..."

"Don't be a looser.Common wake up."

I had a lot of diseases and some sort of neurological disorder for which I had small chances of survival according to the doctor.(BUT I AM STILL ALIVE).

That night he sang a great Bollywood song to me which meant- 

"Slowly ,You became my life.

  Slowly, The world around me has lit up.'

I was flattered.Then he sent me a long message in which he described a story in which two ants cared for each other.He meant that he wanted us to be such for lifetime.

I was so happy.I asked him to speak it up to me and for doing that he took nearly an hour.

He was too shy.

And at last I said yes.

He had become my friend,my guide,my lover...my Life.

Our relationship was at a level higher than Love.It was divine,pure and had no rules.

We got committed....but just to care for each other and we promised never to fall in love.

We were not a couple...but we were just for each-other only.

That was so special.

He always did make me feel special.

I was more than satisfied.

9.THAT FIRST MEETING!!

Talking to Daksh became a regular habit.He even used to sing songs to me on phone and ask for recommendations. We used to talk anytime and every-time and if any more time was left with us then we spent that on chatting.

Our day started with each other and ended with each other too.

It was just after 8 days from the 1st day of our talking that we decided to meet.

I gave a good excuse of buying books for the new session to Papa and went down with a beautiful friend of mine named Alisha to meet him.

Alisha was beautiful and smart and most importantly she was a craze among the boys of our class and one of my besties. I thought she was perfect for Daksh.

We waited for 15 minutes and then Daksh arrived.We both looked at each other and smiled.That was it.We connected so well.

I introduced him to Alisha but Alisha seemed having no such special interest in Daksh and Daksh was too shy.

I laughed my heart out.Three of us had an awesome hangout and I gave a card to Daksh resembling our friendship.We also met his sister.

We ate ice-creams,we fought,we gossiped,we enjoyed a lot.And then it was time for me and Alisha to leave.

Daksh called me from behind,"Ipsha...".

"Yes.."

"Had an awesome day.Thanks for coming."

"Hey you stop being so formal.It was nice spending time with you.We shall meet often."

"Sure.Bye"

I kept looking back at him a lot many times and smiled till I got an auto-rickshaw and Alisha pulled me into it.As soon as I sat I got his call.

"Hey..Will miss you"

"I will miss you too."

It was indeed a very special day for me.

I was so happy.I felt like dancing in the air.

And then we met often,in Sundays and in holidays.

We had come into a relationship where we were "More than Friends,less than lovers".

We cared for each other in the same way,in a special way.

It was not love,not at all.......

....Or may be .... something more than that!

     8.THE FIRST PHONE-CALL

"Take care baby.Call us as soon as you reach your college."

"Ok mummy!!"

That was what every teenage girl hears from her mother when she leaves home.
I was adjusting myself in the bus when my phone beeped.I did't take time to confirm that it was Daksh.
"Oh god! This boy is gonna kill me someday.",I said to myself.

"Hey u set for ur journey back to hostel? :-P"

"Why are u so happy for dat?"

"hey not lyk dat...where are you now"

"in bus"

"cool dear.... dont b so blunt to a boy who has a crush on you :-D"

"can u stay away from flirting atleast for a moment?"

"If the option is for you....Then i am not flirting:-P"

"Daksh..."

"OOOO Ipsha..."

And Daksh went on chatting with me till I reached my hostel.
I prepared myself up and was getting ready or my classes when my phone rang.It was an unknown number.

"hello"

"Han Ipsha we don't have classes today.Inform everyone."

"Ok.But who is this?"

"You know me well.I thought you would be waiting for my call."

"Excuse me!I don't know you."

"Really??"

Then I realised who I was talking to.
Daksh.... Not again!!

"Hey ...why did you call me Daksh??"

"Ohh wao!You got me right.I called you because I wanted you to realise that you had given me your number and also the right to disturb you anytime I want."

"But now I will be off for classes.Talk to you later.Bye."

"You won't be having classes now.You may verify if you don't believe me."

"Shut up!Bye.."

Just then Ashu called and said,"Rest in bed dear.No classes."

I was so happy.I changed up and sat with my laptop but just then the phone rang again.It was Daksh.

"Hi!.I said na you won't be having classes.So let's talk now.And don't wonder what to talk coz we can talk as we are close friends now, right?'

I laughed out loud and we started talking.We kept on talking about college days,about all supid moments,about our crushes,about our life and anything and everything.

I was smiling heartily after so many days.
We talked continuously for 3 hours and then I realized I had call home after reaching.

I suddenly cut the call and dialed mummy.

"Mummy I reached."

"Now?"

"Yes..No ...I mean..I was preparing my room...You know cleaning all those dirty stuff and all.So called you a bit late"

"Yes a bit is equal to 3 hours.Ok go have your lunch and take rest."

Moms are unbeatable.
I took my lunch,had rest and then updated my status-

"Back to my hostel room...Missing home...But itz k..."

It was actually ok as I had that stupid Daksh to irritate me afterall.

Life was getting fast-paced.I liked it.

                     7.POST BREAKUP.....I WAS BACK

I cried alone but I had my friends to lend me their shoulders.I always said that I needed no-one but everyone was around me, and somewhere I was happy being released from the dark past.Those daily fights that ended with depression,those loud shouts on me,all had stopped.
I missed all the special moments with him.I had stopped myself from being socially active also.
Ashu,my best friend who always knew what I needed,asked me to spend time on facebook.
I went online and sat upto 1a.m in the night.I had some friends who chatted with me regularly and they always had one question to ask about-My Breakup story.

I was disgusted.And there was Daksh who was the only one who asked me to take my past as a joke and forget that.It was impossible for me. It was a part of my life and it had taught me a great deal of things.

I hated chatting with Daksh and  so avoided him.But he did come to induce me to forget my past as if it was his business.He used to sit and give me morals till late nights even during his exams.He asked for my phone number but I had lost the capability to trust anyone,so I never accepted his request.

Chatting with him became a continuous routine for me.Even when I used to go home during holidays,we used to keep chatting till dinner.We had become good friends.But I never heard his voice.He used to end the conversation with asking me my number and I would end it by saying a no.

It was my last day of summer holidays.I was already feeling homesick.I was getting ready to sleep. Daksh's messages were still beeping  on my phone.There was something weird.

'I wanted to say u something.'

'What?'

'U knw wat,I used to like you during college days.'

'Oh,dats k. we r friends now.'

'Ryt.U r my closest friend now.'

He asked me to be his closest friend.Though I had a sense to stay away from him but I had agreed to be his closest friend.

I was surprised by what he was saying.
I asked,'But y did u like me?'.

'U were talented,beautiful and were great.Dat's y I loved you.'

'What?'

'Sry,I liked you.'

'K gud nyt.Need to sleep now.'

'Ur number plz.Don't deny yaar.'

'Ok.9734567898.Call me tomorrow ONLY ok'

'Oh sure.Thnq.Sweet dreams.Bye'

I still couldn't believe myself.I did give him my number.But why?
Daksh was weird but he always tried to make me out of my sadness,without any reason.He was a no-one to me but somewhere it felt like I meant everything to him.

I was happy. Daksh had become a special friend with whom I could share all my feelings.

At the end of the day,I was wearing a smile .....
.......that was gifted to me
........by Daksh!!

                     6.THOSE DAYS OF TEARS...

Things never changed.

I struggled to make him happy by all means but he never was. I bought him gifts,talked to him all the time though he never did anything except crying and scolding me.

I cursed myself as because I loved him a lot but could never make him realize that.

The thing that hurted me a lot was that he always thought that I was interested in some other guy and ignored him. I was not happy.I cried all the time.My friends asked me to breakup with him but I never wanted to lose him.

It was the fest time in my college.All were so excited.I was as usual dull and unenergetic.

One of my friends had registered my name in the singing competition.I was not interested to participate but I did that for the sake of my friends.

I was doing my riyaaz just the night before the audition.Saras called.I didn't know why but I feared to talk to him even. I picked up the call and he talked to me so sweetly that I started crying.

Everything went on well and the next day I got selected in the auditions.

My auditions were to finish at 4p.m but due to some problems it ended at 5:30 p.m.I came out of the audi and called Saras at first.He picked up the call and I was shattered again.

 

"Just say me what were you doing since 4p.m.See Ipsha don't even dare to lie me.You cheat, you are such a cheap girl that you don't even care for the one who cares for you.Why do you call me now? Just go and enjoy.You have lot many so-called-friends to spend time with,right?

Goodbye."

 

I decided not to fear this time and fight for myself.

 

"Saras what do you think of yourself?I  just came out of the audi and called you first to inform you that I was selected.I didn't even call my parents.I am crying now.I was so happy.And I jst have two friends here and those too in girls.I don't even talk to boys you know that.You still doubt on me.What do I do now.I am disgusted.I cry all the time and you don't even understand a bit.Do you want me to die?"

 

I cut the phone.I went back to my room.lied on my bed and cried a lot.Then I went up to my table,brought a blade and was about to do something with that when my room-mates knocked the door.

 

He called me at night.I didn't even prepare for my finals.

He scolded me again and said that he wanted a breakup.I pleaded to him not to leave me but he didn't listen me.After a long try he agreed to take a second chance.But something deep inside was telling me that it won't work.

 

It was my birthday the next day.I knew my friends were planning for a surprise for me and I was happy.Saras wasn't talking to me nor even I.

He called me at 11p.m in the night and directly said he didn't want the relation to exist.I felt like being thrown away somewhere.I was so shattered that I coudn't even scold him back.he cut the phone.

I was going to turn 19 at 12a.m. and it would have been my first birthday with him.I still expected him to call me or atleast text me, but all my expectations went in vain.I got thousands of wishes but not from Saras.I tried to be happy but sadly I had no substitute for my tears.

 

Some days later I got a message in my facebook inbox.He sent me a long message and at the end it was written,"I hate u now". He,then,blocked me.

 

I was broken down completely.I hated the word love.I hated the moments I spent with him.I hated the moment he came into my life.I hated myself.I feared making friends and remain aloof from everything.

 

I had lost Ipsha which was within myself.

 

5.THE START OF MY 1ST LOVE LIFE....

I was happy.The feeling was awesome.

We talked till late nights and grew closer day-by-day.

He had changed me completely.I was going crazy if I couldn't talk to him.All was great and then when I could realize that I was perfect with him,I gave him my answer that I really loved him.

I couldn't believe that I was in a relationship.It was such a sweet feeling.

He really cared for me.

We often met and walked hand-in-hand down the roads.

We smiled together and loved to eat together too.

I denied him to say about us to anyone but he thought that it was a matter of happiness and should be shared with our friends.I thought that he was never wrong so I never restricted him from doing anything he wanted.

I felt that he understood me well and loved me a lot.So I always wanted to love him even more.

I gave him a lot of gifts and he even gave me a lot of things that he used to write when he fell in love with me for the first time.Those were the sweetest things I had ever seen.He was dedicated towards me,he was concerned and most importantly,he could feel me.That was why I was madly loving Saras too.

He made me meet our friends and the thing I loved most was that he could proudly say in-front-of everyone that ,"She is mine,only mine."

He had owned me and I was really very happy.

One day,I was in my Lab classes.My cell was in my bag which was outside the class. My lunch break usually started at 12:00 P.M. but that day we had work a bit more so I left the class after 20 minutes.

As soon as I left the class I took up my bag and took out the cell.To my surprise there were 36 missed calls, all from Saras.I was just about to dial him when he called.I picked up the call.

"Sorry yaar,I was in class."

"Don't lie to me.Where were you?Your class gets over at 12:00P.M. It has already been 20 minutes.Were you in a birthday celebration or something.Why didn't you call me as soon as your class ended? Answer me Ipsha!"

I was dumb.I couldn't realize how he reacted just then.It was completely unexpected.

"Oh god Saras! Why are you over reacting?I was in my class.It ended just now and I took out the cell just to call you but you called.Why should I lie you?"

"Fine.I am angry.You don't even know that I have not taken my lunch and have been waiting for your call.It seems like you don't even care.You don't regret for your mistakes even."

"Please Saras,What's my mistake?Don't shout on me please.You doubt on me or what?I pray you don't behave such.It's intolerable."

"You don't talk to me.Bye"

"But...Hello...Hello..."

I sat down on the bench.I still couldn't believe what had happened.It was too shocking and I was crying just because I was hurt.Saras had doubted on me.This thought killed me.I tried to console myself but who knew it was just the beginning,the beginning of what I had to face in the coming days,The Worst Days of my Life.

                    4. HIS BIRTHDAY AND THE PROPOSAL

I talked to Him the whole day,even between the classes.I was excited to meet him in the evening.

I returned to my hostel at 1:30 and then I took 2 hours to get ready and finally my phone rang.

It was Saras.

"Hey,where are you?"

"I am just below your hostel gate yaar."
"I am just..c-o-m-i-n-g within a sec."
And I ran out with his gifts without even noticing myself once in the mirror.
I was about to hit him when I stopped.

"Hey,sorry. I am a bit late.Happy birthday." And as I shaked hands with him I finally looked into his eyes for the first time and I could see how happy he was when he touched me.
I felt a bit awkward and pulled away my hand.
We went out and I gifted him a love-story book of my choice,a box of heart-shaped chocolates and a yellow rose.
He just loved them.
We moved around together,went to a temple ate lot of chocolates and spent the whole day happily with him.

It was 6p.m. and I had to return to my hostel.He came over to leave me and while we were walking back on the road I could realize that he was constantly staring at me.Unknowing we had held hands.

We were in-front-of my hostel when I smiled at him and came forward but he didn't leave my hands and said ,"Can we talk at night today,please."
I said,"Ohk,now go." and pushed him back.
I came back happily.

3."NOT" LOVE..ACTUALLY

Saras was great.He understood me well and the way he cared it melted me.
I was growing mad on him.
Classes were awesome and I had made a good deal of friends also.I was happy in my new life as I was living my dream-the dream to be a software engineer!But somewhere or the other I was also putting my foot on a different path;a path that I had decided to walk with Saras.
5th October,2012;he had his birthday just the day next.
I planned to do something really special for him.
I sent him 18 messages each telling something about his personality and how I loved his way of talking to me.I knew he would like it and he did.The 19th message was "happy birthday Saras.... will you be my best friend .. forever?" and i sent it just at 12 a.m and called him just after that as he wished someday I would wish him 1st on his birthday.Fortunately,I was there for him.
All his friends wished him and I was still on hold.
And then he came back to me and said, "Sorry,I kept you waiting!".

"Ahh,not a big deal.It's your birthday dude.Don't say all those rubbish.Fine give me my answer!Quick."

"Oh,do you really don't know the answer?I would love to be such an important part of your life Ipsha. And thanks for making it the best birthday ever for me."

"It's not the end Saras.You'll have a lot of surprises tomorrow.You are coming naa?"

"yep,that's for a sure .I am waiting to see you soon.But Papa was..."

"Saras, you don't need to be tensed.Promise me you will allow me to spend all on your birthday.Please yaar, itna to haq banta hai mera."

"No Ipsha,that's not right.Please,I can't."

"Oh!you just come tomorrow.Bye"

"Ipsha..."

"What?"

"Thanks yaar.You understand me so well.You are like an angel to me.You know it very well that I loved you still you cared for me all the time and kept our friendship alive.I have been restricting myself from telling you something since three years,can't bear any more."

My heart skipped a bit and started beating faster.I could hear the bits.I had no courage to hear what he wanted to speak.I was confused and I didn't want to hurt him by saying a NO.He loved me,madly and I just knew 1 thing that I didn't want to lose him.But i didn't know if it was Love.

He took a deep breath and as he was just beginning to speak I interrupted and said,"Saras,it's late yaar.I am sleepy."
"Ohh! ok ok.Fine.It's already 1a.m.You may be tired.Fine then see you tomorrow."

"Ahh,sure.Bye"

"Ipsha,just a request.Never say a bye.Please.Good night.Waiting to see you tomorrow."

"Ha ha ha.Ohk.Good night."

I was confused about what I was feeling but at the end I smiled. I smiled a lot and then took a deep breath and slept.

                                      2.HOSTEL PRAVESH...AWESOME

The moment I stepped out of the car, I smelled something familiar.May be I was trying to get familiar with what I was going to have with me in the next 4 years.The campus was awesome.
There were lawns,trees,ponds and fountains all around.Students,or I better call My Ferocious Seniors,were roaming all around; some with books in their hands and the others with snacks and cold-drinks whereas the rest with cigars and all those bad stuffs.

I went on to the Girl's Hostel no-3. I entered with a smile on my face as the hostel number allotted to me was my lucky number and luckily my room number was also 003.I and Mummy went inside my room and she arranged my bed and then I was left ALONE there with my four new roommates who were the first faces that I had to see every morning.
I arranged my things in my wardrobe and then jumped onto my bed with my mobile and updated my Facebook status :
               //Entered a new lyf out here :)
                    xcited.......... a loooott
                 can't wait 2 c d Tomorrow.... :)
                 my drm journey starts... vrooommm
                 n hostel .... z not dat bad.... :-p //
I was busy chatting with my known-unknown,boring-interesting,serious and flirting friends and when suddenly I took my phone away from my face,I found 3 large faces bumping at me and saying a loud "Hii" in chorus.
I jumped back in surprise,or rather I say I was badly surprised.
We introduced each other. The with big specs was Sony, the one with a fat structure was Milky and the one who was literally suffering from malnutrition was Shona.
I said, "I am Ipsha Nayak, rank-2743,branch-CSE".
As soon as I completed my intro,Milky jumped on me saying,"Hey I am also from CSE. We'll go for our classes together. Ohk".
We all were silently looking at her face and then we all burst out laughing.
Then we all went up to sleep but I had no sleep in my eyes as I was waiting to call someone that I really wanted to talk to-Saras,the one who was mad for me since the 1st day of my 11th class. He loved me madly since 2 years and I didn't even look at him.But then we chatted on Facebook and now we had become great friends.That day we were going to talk for the first time.
I had his number so I called him and he suddenly recognized my voice.We started talking and couldn't end that.It continued till night when my rummies called me for dinner.I had to go and I won't lie I was feeling nyc to talk to him.
I was happy as he was making me feel special at each and every moment.Days were awesome.May be,I was in ..... Love, or may be not!!!

                                  1.PREPARATION FOR THE NEW BEGINNING 

"Please mommy,this will be the only year I'll b staying in hostel.Next year I'll join a mess or will live with Nana but not inside that unhygienic engineering hostel."

"You talk too much.Just lend me those plastic boxes.You need to have one for medicines,one for your favorite arisa pithas,one for your earrings and all your mini fashion stuffs and one..."
"Mommy I was telling you something that really matters to me.Fine but i won't stay in that hostel more than a year and that is final."
I went away angrily throwing away the pink teddy that Papa had gifted me on my birthday.
Being the middle one I was too much pampered by my family. My Nana(elder sister) was and is an Idol to me and my younger sis Jass was my baby as well as my fashion Icon. I was actually taken care of like a Princess.Life was awesome at home and the day I qualified for engineering in Computer Science at one of the top engineering colleges of Odisha, my life changed.
It was while I was thinking about my life at home when I heard something. "Munu, come dear".And this time I had no other options than to go back as papa was calling out for me and I couldn't deny and help mommy and papa to pack my stuffs .
Nobody understood that I was feeling so bad to leave home and set out for a journey to become an engineer, an unknown journey for four long years,may be filled with unexpected twists.But who cared as i just wanted 1 thing "NOT-TO-STAY-IN-HOSTEL".